<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>How could you leave us? by ifeellikeiamamidget</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293392">How could you leave us?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifeellikeiamamidget/pseuds/ifeellikeiamamidget'>ifeellikeiamamidget</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Barry Allen is The Flash, Barry Allen's Birthday, Caring Oliver Queen, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Grieving Barry Allen, Hugs, M/M, Parent Death, Sad Barry Allen, The Flash (TV 2014) Season 3, Vigilante love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:21:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24293392</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifeellikeiamamidget/pseuds/ifeellikeiamamidget</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Barry’s birthday but he just wants to be alone. Just 4 days after he turned 11, his mom had been murdered and he just had this hatred for his birthday ever since that fateful day back in the year 2000. Whilst Barry just wants to not do anything the whole day, his boyfriend has other ideas instead. [THIS IS INSPIRED BY NF’S SONG; HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Barry Allen &amp; Caitlin Snow, Barry Allen &amp; Cisco Ramon, Barry Allen &amp; Henry Allen, Barry Allen &amp; Iris West, Barry Allen &amp; Joe West, Barry Allen &amp; Kara Danvers, Barry Allen &amp; Nora Allen, Barry Allen &amp; Team Arrow, Barry Allen &amp; Team Flash, Barry Allen &amp; Team Legends, Barry Allen &amp; Winn Schott Jr., Barry Allen/Oliver Queen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How could you leave us?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you enjoy this One-Shot :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Summary</b>: It’s Barry’s birthday but he just wants to be alone. Just 4 days after he turned 11, his mom had been murdered and he just had this hatred for his birthday ever since that fateful day back in the year 2000. Whilst Barry just wants to not do anything the whole day, his boyfriend has other ideas instead. [THIS IS INSPIRED BY NF’S SONG; HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US]</p><p><b>DISCLAIMER</b>: Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, and other characters from the Arrowverse are not mine. The plot of this one-shot is, but the characters and the fandoms are not mine :)</p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>How could you leave us so unexpected?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>We were waiting, we were waiting</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>For you but you just left us</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>We needed you, I needed you</em> </b>
</p><hr/><p>Barry groaned as he woke up. It was the day he hated the most; well, the day he would forever hate more would obviously be the date his mother died. He was officially 27. His boyfriend, the mayor of Star City, Oliver Queen, was hellbent on making sure he had the best birthday ever but all he wanted to do was sleep. The reason as to why he hated his birthday was never a concern to Oliver, he didn’t care what Barry thought of his birthday as long as he had a good day.</p><p>“Mornin’ birthday boy” Oliver said, he rubbed his hand up and down Barry’s arm. </p><p>Sighing softly, Barry snuggled back into his place on Oliver’s chest. He hadn’t slept good at all, with the nightmares of his mother’s death and all suddenly springing back to life in his mind. The two were currently cuddling in their Queen sized bed, the same one Barry had made multiple puns about after hearing about the purchase. Oliver sighed as he watched Barry attempt to drift back off to sleep.</p><p>He knew the younger man was struggling, he had been through so much in the previous year: He had his confidence, and his back, shattered, he got betrayed by someone else who claimed to want to help him, and to top it all off, he had lost his father just months ago. Last year was just the worst year of Barry’s life, and he didn’t want this year to be the same, especially with them facing another speedster who claimed to be the ‘God of Speed’.</p><p>“Bear, c’mon” Oliver said softly, shaking Barry to try and rouse the sleepy speedster. When the younger man made no effort to move, Oliver sighed. He gently placed the sleeping man back onto the mattress and left, he was going to make this the best birthday Barry’s ever experienced. He was going to make sure of it.</p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>I got this picture in my room and it kills me</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>But I don’t need a picture of my mom, I need the real thing.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Now a relationship is something we won’t ever have</em> </b>
</p><hr/><p>Once Barry awoke the second time, all he wanted to do was curl back into the covers and drift off for the rest of the day. Back when his mom was around, they used to watch movies in the morning and then all three of them, Barry, his mother and his father, would all go to the mall and buy him the things he asked for. Then, he and his father would spend the rest of the day messing around with whatever Barry had bought from their shopping trip whilst Nora would cook an extravagant meal for the three of them. Those were the memories Barry wished he could have, but he couldn’t. Even with the family he’s got now, no-one could ever replace his mother and father.</p><p>As much as he detested the idea, Barry slowly slid out of bed, his mind only focused on thoughts about his parents and all his last birthdays with them. God, all he wanted for was for them to be there with him. He stumbled his way into the kitchen, the smell of bacon and eggs was making his stomach growl against the thought of eating it.</p><p>Oliver eyed his boyfriend carefully, he hadn’t been this quiet before, especially on his birthday but after everything he went through the year before, it wasn’t that concerning that he just didn’t have his usual energy. But this was different, and Oliver could literally <em> feel </em>the uneasiness Barry was feeling. </p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>I thought that maybe I feel better as time passes</em> </b>
</p><hr/><p>The morning went by in a daze for Barry. He was vaguely aware of having a bath with Oliver, but his mind was just too occupied on the upcoming date instead of the present. He didn’t even remember thanking Joe for wishing him a happy birthday. He was just too focused on his parents, and how he despised his birthday. </p><p>“Barry?” Oliver tried, he had been calling Barry’s name for 5 minutes. He had picked up on the faraway look in his eyes and his concern was growing by the second. He knew very vaguely as to why Barry hated his birthday. Barry had specifically told him because it was just too hard on him to be happy after losing his mom. It just hadn’t felt the same since his mother’s death and Oliver could understand that. He just didn’t know why Barry was acting catatonic. </p><p>“Huh? What?” Barry replied moments later, a sudden darkness underlying the confusion in Barry’s eyes. </p><p>“You okay? You’ve been acting strange all morning” Oliver asked, moving to sit down on the table in front of Barry, cupping the younger man’s cheeks with his hands. He monitored Barry’s expressions closely, trying to seek out any hiding emotions that could break through and help him get a better understanding as to what was going on inside his boyfriend’s head.</p><p>All Barry did was nod. He nodded and masked his pain with a smile, and he tried to act fine, because in everyone else’s minds he was fine. He may have just lost his father a couple of months ago but it’s all okay because he’s Barry Allen, a man destined to feel much more pain than what anyone else had ever been through--including Oliver. But, Oliver saw through that smile, he saw how he struggled to keep his emotions intact.</p><p>“Let’s go to S.T.A.R Labs then” He said simply, standing up and walking over towards the door, trying not to focus on the sigh of relief he heard come from Barry as he believed Oliver hadn’t seen through his mask. </p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>It took everything inside of me to not scream at your funeral</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Sitting in my chair, that person talking was pitiful</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>I wish you were here mama but every time I picture you</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>All I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you</em> </b>
</p><hr/><p>The couple arrived at S.T.A.R Labs 20 minutes later. Oliver had purposely driven at the actual speed limit just so he could monitor Barry closely without him masking his emotions in a crowded room where he would be at the top of his game to make himself seem fine in everyone else’s eyes. </p><p>When they pulled up to the building, Oliver was surprised to see tears glistening in Barry’s eyes. The younger man had made no indication that he was upset, other than making Oliver believe he just wasn’t himself for the day. His heart was aching to know what was going on with his boyfriend, he just wanted to help him but Barry was stubborn at letting people in, regardless of how close they were to him or not. </p><p>“Bear? What’s wrong?” Oliver asked him, he was slowly getting more and more frustrated with the lack of response from Barry.</p><p>“It’s nothing, okay?” Barry snapped, wiping his eyes and getting out of the car, slamming the door shut. Oliver sighed, he was awful at comforting people and letting other people in, and he also <em> hated </em>when good people, like Barry, see so much darkness in their life.</p><p>Grumbling to himself, Oliver gradually got out of the car, really trying to rack his brain to see if he could figure out what was going on with Barry. </p><hr/><p>The Cortex was filled with life as Barry entered the room. He knew Team Arrow would be there, but he was surprised to see Team Supergirl, well more like Kara and Winn, and also Sara Lance and Ray Palmer there to represent Team Legends.</p><p>“Happy birthday, Barry!” Everyone yelled, making him jump a bit, he wasn’t expecting that. </p><p>There was cake, alcohol (probably Cisco’s way of drinking away the pain of losing his brother), and lots and lots of food, either to keep up with both Barry and Kara’s freaky metabolisms or that Mick would be showing up for both the alcohol and food sometime towards the end of the makeshift party. </p><p>Joe approached Barry and pulled him in for a tight hug, he could tell it was all slightly overwhelming for his son, especially after believing everyone hated him for wanting to feel whole again. When he finally let go of his son, he could see the worn out look in his face, and he could clearly see that he had struggled to sleep. They were the remaining signs of the fierce nightmare he was sure plagued his son’s sleep that night. </p><p>Eventually, Oliver finally emerged into the party. He tried to ignore the concern stares both he and Barry were getting, it was clear that everyone could tell something was wrong with <em> him </em>and instead of Barry.</p><p>“B.A, I hope you’re having a very sumptuous day!” H.R exclaimed, suddenly entering the cortex. Whilst Cisco tensed, everyone else, other than Team Arrow and Team Flash, looked at Harrison Wells’ doppelganger. They didn’t know that they had brought H.R to Earth-1.</p><p>“I’m sorry but, who exactly are you?” Ray asked, the last time he had been with Team Flash was from when he and Felicity were dating and he wanted input on his suit from Cisco. </p><p>“Oh, I’m H.R” H.R said cheerfully, bouncing over towards Barry and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. </p><p>“How’s it going, H.R?” Barry asked, a smile on his face. </p><p>Oliver could see the pain behind it. He could see how Barry was forcing it to stay on his face. All he wanted was for his boyfriend to enjoy his birthday this year, like he had last year, but it was clear that he was faking his enjoyment so everyone else could continue to believe he was fine because he refused to show weakness in front of anyone.</p><hr/><p>The party ended hours later, and Mick did indeed show up for the alcohol and food, much like Cisco had, well that’s what Barry believed anyway. </p><p>The entire party was filled with tension between Barry and Oliver, and thankfully, no-one had decided to pick up on it and cause a scene. That was the last thing either of them needed. </p><p>Oliver, Barry, Joe, Iris and Caitlin were all stuck on clean-up duty whilst Team Arrow were busy upgrading all of the security features in S.T.A.R Labs. </p><p>“The birthday boy shouldn’t have to clean up after us” Joe said, grabbing the broom Barry had and ushered him out of the room, surprised at how Barry didn’t fight back. That wasn’t like his kid at all. Clearly, Joe shared the same concerns as Oliver because when the two made eye contact, he could see the same worries in his eyes as he was feeling. </p><p>“Is everything alright with him?” Joe asked Oliver, he didn’t care if he was creating a scene. He just wanted to know if his foster son was okay.</p><p>“I don’t know” Oliver replied, “he hasn’t been himself all day”</p><p>“He was distant and he was in a daze the whole morning. The car ride over here was silent, and when I pulled up here, he had tears in his eyes and he snapped at me”</p><p>Iris sighed, she knew that Barry had always struggled around and on his birthday, especially after losing his mother. </p><p>“Oliver, did you maybe think that the reason as to why he’s been distant the whole day is because of the fact that he’s missing both of his parents?” Iris asked, her voice void of anything other than confusion.</p><p>Then it hit him. Barry lost his mother 4 days after he turned 11, and that date was nearing. That’s why Barry had been in a daze the whole morning, because he was busy thinking about all of the memories he had with his parents. </p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>Why would you leave us?</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b> <em>Why would you leave us?</em> </b>
</p><hr/><p>Sniffing caught Oliver’s attention as he was getting himself ready for bed. Ever since both he and Barry arrived home, the younger man hadn’t said a word to him. This whole day, Barry hadn’t said a fat lot to him. Oliver had given up asking if he was okay, he was only getting pushed away anyway. It just wasn’t fair.</p><p>Oliver entered the bedroom to see Barry sitting on his side of the bed. his head in his hands and his whole body shaking. Any anger he had previously felt was gone, and he found himself wrapping the younger man into his arms and holding him tightly against his chest. Barry needed him, even if he told himself he didn’t.</p><p>He looked around the room, trying to see what had caused this when his eyes landed on it. Joe had put his gift in their apartment because he knew Barry would’ve broken down in front of everyone. It was a photograph of Barry, his mother and his father from Barry’s 11th birthday party. That was the last birthday he had spent with them. He pulled Barry even closer to his chest and let him cry it all out, let him cry all the hurt, pain and grief he had kept hidden the whole day.</p><p>He would never forgive Thawne, or Zoom, or even Jay Garrick, the man who just so happened to be Henry’s doppelganger who had turned up just days after Barry had to bury his father. He wanted to hurt anyone who put Barry in pain, he just couldn’t stand the thought of the man who gave him light to suddenly run out of it. </p><hr/><p>
  <em> <b>How could you leave us here?</b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <b>How would you leave us here? </b> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <b>Why would you leave us here?</b> </em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <b> <em>I am so sorry for those of you who have to go through the heartache of losing a parent. I am so sorry for those who have awful mental health, my PM’s are always open for those who would like to talk about it. I am here for everyone who also has suicidal thoughts, I will always be here for people.</em> </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>